“Hello?” I hesitated. Answering the door to find an angel is not a common occurrence in my life. I expected the woman in front of me to say “trick-r-treat,” but she just smiled. A glowing, perfect smile, as glowing and perfect as her halo.

“Mr. Davidson? I am honored to meet you!” The angel seized my hand and shook it. Her wings extended behind her to their full span. “Please, may I come in?”

“I-I… um… sure?” Reluctance lurked in my voice. Despite that, the angel folded up her wings and shimmied sideways through the open doorway.

“Wow.” Her voice managed to be both melodic and forceful. “So this is where it all happens? Mr. Davidson? Where’s your wife?” She smiled.

“She’s picking up our son from school.” I wondered if my wife would get jealous when she came home and I was talking to a literal angel. It was unlikely: she had never been the jealous type, and anyway, surely an exception could be made for angels.

I followed the angel as she led herself around the house. First she toured the living room, stopping at every family picture, then she went upstairs to the bedrooms.

“Is this your son’s room? You should totally hang the certificate here!” She was beaming. “Sorry, I’m a little star-struck. This house is really famous, you’re really famous. Did you know that?”

“Oh yeah.” I lied. I was still having trouble registering the situation. “Why are you here though… um…” I struggled to come up with a name for her. “…Angel?”

Her mouth flew open. “Oh my gosh! How did you know my name? I’m Angel, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” She waited a moment. “I’m here to give you the award.”

“Ah… of course.” My blood started to pump itself into my head and make itself at home. “Obviously a literal angel is here to give me an award.” I tried to calm myself. Thoughts of heaven, thoughts of paradise, for me, my wife, and my son. Would this change things? Would we be rich? We never had any money troubles before, why would we be getting this?

“I really wish I could stay. But I’m really busy, you know how it is.” She smiled and handed me a picture frame.

“Oh yeah, I’m busy too.” I lied again. Lying to an angel, what’s the punishment for that?

I took a look at the frame. Inside was a “Certificate of Conglatulations.” The full certificate read:

CERTIFICATE OF CONGLATULATIONS

AWARDED TO DAVID DAVIDSON

ON JUL 22 2018

AWARDED BY THE CELESTIAL BUREAU OF WORLDLY STATISTICS

RECORD: UNLUCKIEST PERSON TO HAVE EVER LIVED

I stared at it. Tried to uncover a deeper meaning. Failed.

“Um… I’m sorry, but you guys spelled ‘congratulations’ wrong.” I said.

“Oh. I guess you’re right.” Her expression was blank. She started leading me to the front door. “We’ll reprint it and send another one, I guess this was a wasted trip for me.”

“In two ways. You guys have the wrong person. I’m David, but I can’t be the unluckiest person in the world. There are so many people who have it so much worse than me and… and I don’t even work that hard. I have plenty of time for my wife and my son. They both really love me. Sometimes we fight but we love each other. I’m really blessed. I’m sorry you wasted your time coming down here Angel, but this award isn’t for me.” I smiled at her and handed her the certificate.

“Oh no,” She let out a laugh. “We’ll reprint it with the correct spelling, but this award is definitely for you.” She handed it back to me. “We take into account future events.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

She side-stepped out of the door and flew away, leaving me with the misspelled award for “unluckiest person.”

I closed the door, went to the living room, and sat down. A vibration from my phone startled me out of my stupor. A local call, but not a number I recognized. I answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Mr. Davidson? This is the Glendale police station, we need you to come down here—there’s been an accident.”