Could I Ever Not Hate You?

Hating you with a fervent, utter disgust

is the only emotion I feel.

I dream of the glorious day I will be free

from this agonizing custody of my emotions.

 

The only emotion I feel

causes total elimination of my sanity,

constantly agonizing, my emotions—

I am losing myself.

 

Eliminating my sanity

gives me a chance of maybe starting over.

I am losing myself,

and I need a drastic shift.

 

If we had a chance to start over,

I would joyfully accept the offer.

The drastic shift would

start an awakening of a new life.

 

Should I?

Bring my dream to life, making myself free?

I do not think I would be able to forget.

I hate you with a fervent, utter disgust.